By Rev. J. Derek Williams
We have become a society whose words have become shallow and void of credibility. When did our word lose its truth and where is our integrity? We tend to just nonchalantly and sometimes with unmitigated gall speak untruth to each other, knowing we had no intention of bringing what we spoke to pass. Those who are of the household of faith would not dare speak a falsehood, would they? Are we not called to a higher standard, let your yea be yea and your nay, nay?
So how is it possible for those in the church to react when they have been "lied to". We all have to be held accountable for our falsehoods. More and more congregants present to each other a semblance of Godliness. We tell each other "little white lies" all the time. We say brother or sister I will thus and such or If I could I would do such and so, knowing good and well that we will not. There is a lack of integrity making it way throughout the church. I guess it makes us seem righteous and kind because the individual we promised left our presence with uplifted spirits. Then when it is time do what we promised we bail out or fabricate an escape, only to eventually not have that brother or sister speak regarding that or any other issue. I dare say that sometimes we don't even know that we are doing something wrong. However, there are those times in which we know exactly what we are doing. We had no intention of following through with what we said in the first place. It was all just a front, a cleverly deceitful facade. How do you think our fellow congregants feel when we break our word. If this is a ongoing occurrence, they may feel uncomfortable around the offender. They may not participate in church activities because they feel true fellowship has been broken and may eventually seek fellowship elsewhere. The sad thing is they did not do anything wrong especially if what was said to them was unsolicited. Maybe the word was spoken in the presence of others for appearances only. No one is immune, not the pastors, nor the saints in the pews.
In 2004 Bella DePaulo, a visiting professor at the University of California, Santa Barbara, who specializes in studying forms of human deception, asked college students and members of the
community-at-large to keep a notebook to tally up the number of lies they told in one week. By the end of the experiment, DePaulo found that the students had lied at least once to 38 percent of the people they came into contact with, while the community-at-large had lied to 30 percent of those with whom they interacted.
We have become a society whose words have become shallow and void of credibility. When did our word lose its truth and where is our integrity? We tend to just nonchalantly and sometimes with unmitigated gall speak untruth to each other, knowing we had no intention of bringing what we spoke to pass. Those who are of the household of faith would not dare speak a falsehood, would they? Are we not called to a higher standard, let your yea be yea and your nay, nay?
So how is it possible for those in the church to react when they have been "lied to". We all have to be held accountable for our falsehoods. More and more congregants present to each other a semblance of Godliness. We tell each other "little white lies" all the time. We say brother or sister I will thus and such or If I could I would do such and so, knowing good and well that we will not. There is a lack of integrity making it way throughout the church. I guess it makes us seem righteous and kind because the individual we promised left our presence with uplifted spirits. Then when it is time do what we promised we bail out or fabricate an escape, only to eventually not have that brother or sister speak regarding that or any other issue. I dare say that sometimes we don't even know that we are doing something wrong. However, there are those times in which we know exactly what we are doing. We had no intention of following through with what we said in the first place. It was all just a front, a cleverly deceitful facade. How do you think our fellow congregants feel when we break our word. If this is a ongoing occurrence, they may feel uncomfortable around the offender. They may not participate in church activities because they feel true fellowship has been broken and may eventually seek fellowship elsewhere. The sad thing is they did not do anything wrong especially if what was said to them was unsolicited. Maybe the word was spoken in the presence of others for appearances only. No one is immune, not the pastors, nor the saints in the pews.
In 2004 Bella DePaulo, a visiting professor at the University of California, Santa Barbara, who specializes in studying forms of human deception, asked college students and members of the
community-at-large to keep a notebook to tally up the number of lies they told in one week. By the end of the experiment, DePaulo found that the students had lied at least once to 38 percent of the people they came into contact with, while the community-at-large had lied to 30 percent of those with whom they interacted.
Based on her research, DePaulo insists that we all fall into one of two categories of liars:
- Some of us are "self-centered liars"—we lie in order to make ourselves look better to others.
- The rest of us are "other-centered liars"—we lie in order to avoid hurting someone else's feelings.
"In everyday life, people are often telling lies," says DePaulo. "[It's] not to get something concrete that they want, like more money, but for psychological reasons…
"Sometimes in our real lives, our valuing of honesty clashes with something else we also value, like wanting to be gracious or kind or compassionate."¹
Unfortunately I can attest to this from my own perspective. Being a sinner, I have not kept my word by biblical standards, often times unaware that I had done so. This does not absolve me of my sin. As Professor DePaulo found out, it is often done without malicious intentions. The Word of God is clear: As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God.They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one. Their throat is an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps is under their lips: Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness: Their feet are swift to shed blood:Destruction and misery are in their ways: And the way of peace have they not known:There is no fear of God before their eyes. Romans 3:10-18 KJV
We must be accountable for the promises we make to each other. Our word is our bond.The world is always viewing how a "Christian" acts daily. Would the snapshot of each of us be an accurate depiction of the Holy life we are to live or an indictment that Christian's are hypocrites? Jesus dealt with this same hypocritical behavior. And he called the multitude, and said unto them, Hear, and understand: Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man. Matthew 15:10-11 KJV
Once our promise/word was given/implied we are held accountable. Keep thy foot when thou goest to the house of God, and be more ready to hear, than to give the
sacrifice of fools: for they consider not that they do evil. Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few. For a dream cometh through the multitude of business; and a fool's voice is known by multitude of words. When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed. Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay.Ecclesiates 5:1-5
So how can we make amends for the wrongs our words have wrought? Biblical reconciliation and forgiveness. I know that both are painful for those of us who are prideful and "stiff necked". Crucifying the flesh is always painful. We would rather walk on barefooted on hot coals or chew broken shards of glass rather than make right the wrongs our lips and actions have committed. This is truly a heart issue. Healing must take place to repair the breach of trust between the brethren. We must go to the persons we have not been honest with and make it right with them. If we promised them we would do something-and it is still within our power to do so, we should make it right. Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it. Say not unto thy neighbour, Go, and come again, and to morrow I will give; when thou hast it by thee. Proverbs 3:27-28 On the other side if we have been on the deceived or broken promises side, we "must" forgive, biblically or forgiveness and blessings will not be granted to us. So if when you are offering your gift at the altar you there remember that your brother has any [grievance] against you, Leave your gift at the altar and go. First make peace with your brother, and then come back and present your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way traveling with him, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. Truly I say to you, you will not be released until you have paid the last fraction of a penny. Matthew 5:23-26 AMPBV Jesus said For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15 NKJV Let each of us remember that healing begins with the first step. Reach out to someone today that you have not kept your word with or to whom you need to forgive. Praise God this day, for it is the day that the Lord has made!
¹
We must be accountable for the promises we make to each other. Our word is our bond.The world is always viewing how a "Christian" acts daily. Would the snapshot of each of us be an accurate depiction of the Holy life we are to live or an indictment that Christian's are hypocrites? Jesus dealt with this same hypocritical behavior. And he called the multitude, and said unto them, Hear, and understand: Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man. Matthew 15:10-11 KJV
Once our promise/word was given/implied we are held accountable. Keep thy foot when thou goest to the house of God, and be more ready to hear, than to give the
sacrifice of fools: for they consider not that they do evil. Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few. For a dream cometh through the multitude of business; and a fool's voice is known by multitude of words. When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed. Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay.Ecclesiates 5:1-5
So how can we make amends for the wrongs our words have wrought? Biblical reconciliation and forgiveness. I know that both are painful for those of us who are prideful and "stiff necked". Crucifying the flesh is always painful. We would rather walk on barefooted on hot coals or chew broken shards of glass rather than make right the wrongs our lips and actions have committed. This is truly a heart issue. Healing must take place to repair the breach of trust between the brethren. We must go to the persons we have not been honest with and make it right with them. If we promised them we would do something-and it is still within our power to do so, we should make it right. Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it. Say not unto thy neighbour, Go, and come again, and to morrow I will give; when thou hast it by thee. Proverbs 3:27-28 On the other side if we have been on the deceived or broken promises side, we "must" forgive, biblically or forgiveness and blessings will not be granted to us. So if when you are offering your gift at the altar you there remember that your brother has any [grievance] against you, Leave your gift at the altar and go. First make peace with your brother, and then come back and present your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way traveling with him, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. Truly I say to you, you will not be released until you have paid the last fraction of a penny. Matthew 5:23-26 AMPBV Jesus said For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15 NKJV Let each of us remember that healing begins with the first step. Reach out to someone today that you have not kept your word with or to whom you need to forgive. Praise God this day, for it is the day that the Lord has made!
¹
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